Honeymoon

After the wedding comes the honeymoon.  Though in this case we booked the holiday long before we decided to get married.   Nonetheless, the holiday started just a few days after the wedding and we are happy to call it our honeymoon.
We were married on 6th November 2015 and on 11the November we boarded a cab in Hertford and headed off to Heathrow.
Some 24 hours later, we landed in Sydney, Australia.   We are tired and somewhat jet-lagged, but also very excited.   We will be away from the UK for 11 weeks in total.
I have been neglecting this blog in recent years, but will try to update it over the next 11 weeks, mainly so that in future years I can look back and remember the adventure more vividly as the memory fades.

Married

On 6th November 2015, my boyfriend, Andrew, and I were married in Hertford Registry Office.   We are now officially husband and husband.
We have been together for over 18 years, but of course marriage has only recently become available to a same-sex couple in the UK.
The day was amazing.   We had a small ceremony at the Registry Office in front of three witnesses.   Then we had a wedding luncheon at the Sun Hotel in Hitchin with 52 friends.  We are grateful to those friends for coming along to help us celebrate our big day.  The whole day went very well.  We really enjoyed the day and out guests have told us that they did as well.
This has been a major milestone in my life.   I am looking forward to the future.

Sin

Now that I have resurrected my blog, I ought to start posting again.     Not sure why, but I was reflecting today on sin.   And particularly to the way the Anglican Church deals with sin.  

I know a number of regular churchgoers who are capable of some unfriendly acts.   On a Sunday, they go to church, confess their sins (silently) and obtain full forgiveness.   From Monday to Saturday they can be selfish, unkind and dishonest, but the following Sunday they again confess their sins and obtain forgiveness.  And so the cycle goes on.

I do my best every day to be humanitarian, kind and helpful.   Sometimes, it is true, I fall short.    I have nowhere to go to get forgiveness.

Who is the better person?

Looking back / Looking forward

So at the end of my first week of retirement, how do I feel?   Truth to tell, it is a strange mixture of excitement and apprehension.

On the first day of retirement, I played 6 sets of tennis for Hertford and, after hurting my leg early on, can now hardly walk.   Not a great start.

I have then had a few days of administration stuff - clearing rubbish out of the flat, getting paperwork in order, filing old photos (of which more later) etc.

And lots of time to reflect.   Trying not to be guilty about lost opportunities in the past or worried about uncertainty in the future.   I think this reflection has been necessary before moving on.  Which I am ready to do.

Moving On

Well five month have passed and I have not added to this blog.    I guess I have been busy.   They have been a life-changing five months.   At the end of January, I decided to retire from work.   So many reasons - some work-related, some personal.

It is probably not appropriate to list the work-related ones here.  Suffice to say that I was under great stress, feeling under-supported and came to the conclusion that resigning was the only option.   I was asked to stay on until the end of May, which I have done.

The personal reasons are also many and varied.   A couple of close friends have recently died;  that concentrated the mind.   On the positive side, we bought a house in Spain and I want to be able to spend more time in it.  I am also keen to start to do more creative things with my life but didn't have the time.

Yes I have retired earlier than I had intended.  Yes that means that finances will be tight.   But I hope I still have the energy and the mental ability to move on to new experiences.  I'd like to take a few months to chill out then make positive decisions about the future.   I hope that future includes travel, new friends, new accomplishments, time in Spain and generally a new control over my life.  And I hope I can share some of them here.

My head exploded

Well that's the nearest I can come to describing the feeling.

I had only been a member of Hertford Tennis Club for about a week. I was playing on Sunday last week and turned round at the back of the court to pick up a ball. And my head exploded.

What actually happened is that a player on the court on one side of us was returning a ball to the court on the other side of us. And for some reason decided to do this at full pace. The ball hit me full in the left eye.

I had to go to A&E at Hertford then to the Eye Clinic at Welwyn GC and subsequently back to the Eye Clinic a week later. My eye certainly looked scary - full of blood.

Thankfully I have now been told that there has been no permanent damage. But it was frightening at the time. And led to a worrying week.

I don't blame the guy that caused the accident - and it was an accident. Though he was rather stupid. I was a member at Totteridge Tennis Club for 20 years without any serious accident. And a member at Hertford LTC for just a week before this happened. I will return, but will be wary in future of what is happening on other courts.

Lost Causes

I guess, throughout my life, I have always tended to support the underdog, minority causes and the unpopular viewpoint. I don't know why. And often that is a good place to be. I am not one for jumping on bandwagons or bending to opposing viewpoints just for the sake of popularity.

Politically I was once one of only 10 people who voted for the communist candidate in a local government election in Aberdeen. Recently I have consolidated my support for the Liberal Democrats just as their support is ebbing away from most of the rest of the population. I was a strong supporter of the Alternative Vote - again not a majority view in the country.

I have never supported a top football team. I remain a passionate supporter of Inverness Caledonian Thistle who are never likely to win a major trophy. But I got more satisfaction from their steady climb from non-league football to the Scottish Premier League than, I believe, a Chelsea or Man City fan can get from knowing that their success was bought.

If I ever watch reality talent shows, I rarely agree with the judges. Yesterday I watched the first semi-final of the Eurovision Song Contest and recorded a vote for Malta. They failed to make the top ten.

As far as people are concerned, I never quite take to the extrovert who craves popularity and seems to get it. I prefer the quiet and thoughtful person who sees through the hype.

But there is a fine line between being proud of my support for minorities and feeling that perhaps I am a patron of lost causes. It might be nice to feel part of the mainstream more often. To be less of a maverick.

But then again, when the road diverges, it is more exciting to take the road less travelled.

It's not the critic who counts ....

I often find that if I really work hard and conscientiously at something difficult, particularly if I put my head above the parapet and have the temerity to express an opinion, then at best I get silence and usually I get some degree of criticism. This applies to all aspects of life. In these circumstances, I get comfort from the words of Theodore Roosevelt which I reproduce below without further comment. “It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; because there is not effort without error and shortcomings; but who does actually strive to do the deed; who knows the great enthusiasm, the great devotion, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement and who at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly. So that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.”

Diet part 2

The January diet, postponed to February, now starts today - March 1st.

It didn't exactly work in January. Or in February. Or rather, I did not work on the diet. So here I am at the start of March exactly the same weight that I was at the start of January. Not good.

But now I have joined the local Hartham Leisure Centre, the weather is more conducive to outdoor activities and, above all, I am determined to eat less food and drink less alcohol. So here goes.

I hope to lose some weight, but that is not the only requirement. I particularly need to get fitter and into better shape. I weighed myself this morning - 13st 5 lbs. What target do I set myself? Nothing too difficult, I think. I need to be realistic. So let's say that I need to get below 13 st by the time I go to Torquay in mid-May and then to 12st 9lbs by the time we go to Malaga in mid-June.

The fact that I still have a sore ankle, some 7 months after I strained it, does not help. But this evening I will go to the gym and perhaps tomorrow evening I will go to the pool. I need to get started and into a regular pattern. And I need to do it now.

I am reluctant to share these thoughts, in case I do not succeed. But I know I am more likely to succeed if I do share these thoughts. So watch this space.

Bit of a balls-up really

I am in agreement with Mary Dejevsky in today's Independent. I also appear to have found myself in a minority in that I supported the coalition, respected Cameron and Clegg for their bravery in going for a coalition, agree that tuition fees were inevitable, generally support the need for huge public sector cuts, am in favour of the change to the voting system, like the positive effect the Lib Dems are having on social policies and will still vote Lib Dem in the May local elections.

But this week both Cameron and Clegg seem to have got things horribly wrong. Clegg's comment that he had forgotten that he was in charge in Cameron's absence was a crassly stupid comment. And Cameron's absence, particular helping to promote arms sales in the Middle East, which a crisis was developing in that very region, was a huge misjudgement. And William Hague once more seems out of his depth.

For me all of this is reminiscent of my evacuation from Iran in 1979 when again the British Embassy and British Government reacted very slowly to the developing crisis hence putting me in some danger. I remember the day we were supposed to be evacuated when we were told to get to the British Embassy at 6am and 'keep a low profile'. When we got to the embassy compound, the gates were shut because the Embassy staff had not finished breakfast. So 200 expats were stuck in the streets of revolutionary Teheran trying to 'keep a low profile'!

So let's hope Cameron and Clegg get their act together real soon and sort out the Brits still stuck in Libya.

Off to see the Wizard

Andrew and I were given tickets by Visit London to see one of the preview showings of The Wizard of Oz at the London Palladium. Of course this is the Andrew Lloyd Weber production starring Michael Crawford and Danielle Hope, who won the BBC 'Dorothy' series of programmes.

We went last night and we had a good evening.

Firstly we had a meal at Silk, a restaurant just along from the Palladium located in the actual courtroom where Oscar Wilde was tried. Not a bad meal but not a great one either.

The show was enjoyable, the performances were fine, the staging was amazing. But in the end there was a lack of emotion. Somehow, the expensive (£6m) staging overwhelmed the story and the performances. So whilst there was nothing wrong with the whole production, somehow it didn't quite grab me in any deep way. It remained rather superficial. Worth seeing, but not likely to remain embedded in my memory.

Nothing much to report

So why say anything?

I guess I just feel that if I have a blog, I ought not to leave too much time between blogs. But the past weeks have gone past without major incident and with no great highs and no deep lows.

Partly this is because I have been really busy at work. January is always my busy month because we have a December year-end and, being the finance guy among other things, I have to get the year-end figures out. Also this week I had a lot of other issues to deal with as well as chair a UKGEOforum meeting and then introduce the annual UKGEOforum lecture as part of the RICS geomatics series. Not something I enjoy doing. But it went okay and we had a good dinner afterwards.

On Sunday I played 3 sets of tennis and on Friday I played 18 holes of golf. Both were great for clearing my head and giving me some much-needed exercise - albeit in freezing temperatures.

And on Tuesday evening we were invited to the Oakham Gallery in Mayfair to attend the opening night of their 11th annual exhibition of Scottish Art. I enjoyed the evening. Loads of free champagne and some interesting paintings to see, so what's not to like? My b/f liked it so much that he bought a painting. An oil paining of Coul Bay in Islay painted by Chris Bushe, a well-respected contemporary painter who studied at Gray's School of Art in Aberdeen. We will have the picture shipped out to Spain and hang it in our flat in Malaga. There is a blank wall there, waiting for something to give it a focal point.

And now I have to do my tax return. I have left it until the last minute as ever. I put some money into my pension fund this year, so I need to so a tax return in order to get the tax benefit from that. So that is most of the rest of Saturday taken care of.

As I said - nothing much to report. But it fills a blog post.

2011 - looking forward

In many years past, I have drawn up a long list of New Year´s resolutions. It is arguable whether they were kept or not. Just one aim for the start of this year - to improve my appearance. Not necessarily in a narcissistic way. I just need to lose weight and gain a better shape. So more exercise, less food, less alcohol and a better diet. It will be a gradual process. And maybe some clothes shopping!

2011 is the first year of the rest of my life. Yes I know that I could have said that about any year. But this one feels a bit more like a watershed. I need to make better use of my time, find time for friends, sort out my finances etc etc. And use the fact that I now live in a new flat to explore the area, join the local tennis club, go to the local swimming pool, get out the bicycle etc. Not exactly New Year´s resolutions. Just a desire to have more energy and more quality time, for myself and for others. I want to live each day in a unique way, not live one day 10,000 times.

2010 - looking back

Whenever I do a retrospective of a year just gone, the tone of the retrospective tends to be influenced not by the qualities of the year in question, but rather by my mood at the time of writing.

So here I am looking back at 2010 from an internet cafe in Malga having had a relaxing Christmas and New Year. It is consequently easy to forget the trials and tribulations of the year just gone. It was not a great year, to be honest. I made many trips to Scotland to visit my ailing father, I went to funerals of friends who were my age, work was often a real hassle, I injured my foot and had to stop playing golf and tennis, I put on weight (not unrelated to the previous comment) and generally the year passed quickly and without many positive triumphs.

I did move home though. That was achieved, not without stress, but without undue delay. And that gives me a new base from which to approach the new year. Andrew was supportive as ever. We did some memorable travel, especially to South Africa. And I hope I was nice to people and helpful when needed.

So goodbye 2010. Another year of experience on the hopeful path of life.

The first day ....

...of the rest of my life.

Yes I know this can be said of every day. And I have already had over 20,000 of these in my life. But then, as someone once said - have you lived 10,000 days or lived one day 10,000 times? Sadly, I think it has often been the latter.

But today feels a bit different. I have been in my new flat for nearly 6 weeks now. But during that time I have been unpacking, have helped run a conference in Stratford-upon-Avon, have been in Spain for 10 days, been up to Scotland and generally been a bit distracted.

Now, though, I have a whole month ahead of me in the new place without any trips away and I want to start to feel that this is a turning point in my life. I will investigate the local area, go for walks, join the local gym and pool, manage my time better and generally look forward to many years living in Hertford and hopefully a new focus on the enjoyment of life. I will not, though, stop watching 'Coach Trip'!

I will also drink less alcohol, especially midweek, and eat more healthily.

I guess it is a bit like having a New Year's resolution but two months early.

So here I go. The first day of the rest of my life.