The Cruise - final word

Of course a cruise can only give a superficial impression of the ports of call. There is no time to get to know local people, to eat in local restaurants or fully experience local culture.

But it does score on the ease with which one can travel to a wide range of destinations, the ability to simply chill-out and recover from the stress of working life, new friends met and quality time with my partner and on value for money .

I was determined to enjoy the cruise and I did so.

Will I do another cruise? Yes, probably. Indeed there is a Celebrity cruise next June out of Southampton to the Baltic capitals and St Petersburg that is already pencilled into the diary. So watch this space.

The Cruise - Naples

After another day at sea, our final port of call was Naples. We decided to take the tour to the rim of Vesuvius and I am glad we did. It was an amazing place and a monument to the strange power of nature. The rim is huge, smoke and steam was coming out of a number of fissures and the view around is magnificent. The evidence of previous eruptions is all around.

And of course we then went to Pompeii to see the aftermath of the most famous of Vesuvius's eruptions in 78AD. It is amazing just how well preserved the buildings and mosaics are in Pompeii.

The Cruise - Mykonos

I had always thought of Mykonos as being 'not quite Greece'. I don't know why. In fact is is a lovely town and is absolutely the typical Greek island port -white buildings, clear blue sea.

After some time browsing the shops, we took a taxi to Super Paradise Beach. Being out of season, it was almost deserted but the day was warm and sunny and the sea was beautiful so I enjoyed out time there. I swam in the sea amongst a number of fish - mostly elusive on camera but I did get a picture of this one.

Back in port we bought a couple of carpets for the flat in Spain before heading back on board the ship.

The Cruise - Tel Aviv and Jerusalem

The ship moved overnight down the coast to Asdod. Not much of a place to be honest, but a place from which we did a day in Tel Aviv and a day in Jerusalem.

Tel Aviv is an interesting city. Because we were on a gay tour, we were able to have lunch in the lesbian and gay centre and end up on the gay beach. We also visited the studio of Raphael Perez, a gay artist whom Andrew and I had met in London a few weeks previously. An interesting day though not one that will remain burned in the memory.












Jerusalem is something different of course. A place that I had heard so much about, from biblical times, from history and of course from recent news. It did not disappoint. I may not quite believe in the biblical story, but it was still amazing to be in the very place where Jesus is reputed to have been crucified. Walking through the very streets where the biblical story took place, and then entering the Church of the Holy Sepulcher and seeing the tomb of Joesph of Arimathea was quite something.





Then we went to the wailing wall which was built by Herod the Great as the surrounding wall to the Jewish courtyard and is now a drawing point for thousands of pilgrims each day.

And finally we headed for the Dead Sea, 400 metres below sea level, to cover ourselves in mud and just float in the salty water - a weird experience.

It was fascinating to be in Israel. It is a place of so much history yet one with an uncertain future. Now is not the time to give my political views. I am simply glad that I have seen this part of the world for myself.

The Cruise - Haifa

I enjoyed just chilling out on our two sea days. Got a bit sunburned - didn't realise how strong the sun was.



Then we arrived in Haifa for 2 days. Andrew had used his contacts in Israel to put together four special tours just for our gay group. Max 15 people and with a gay guide. I had decided not to go on the first one, so I strolled into Haifa on my own. I walked further than I had intended - rather exhausting in the heat. But anyway I arrived at the top of the Bah'ai Gardens just in time for the English language tour. The gardens are fantastic - quite beautiful. And the tour taught me a lot about the Bah'ai faith which has a very positive and simple core belief - that we are all equal; male/female, straight/gay, black/white and that the world belongs to us all. I was glad I went to the gardens. I walked back via the German quarter. This had been a run down area. When the mayor of Haifa offered to contribute funds to the building of the Bah'ai gardens, the leaders of the Bah'ai community said that they did not accept contributions from outside the faith but that the mayor could contribute indirectly by sprucing up the German quarter just below the gardens. This he did. So the gardens flow down to the shops and restaurants which have now emerged in the German Quarter. All very lovely.













On day two, I did go on the tour which was to Nazareth and Galilee. Nazareth was busy and had severe traffic problems but the sea of Galilee was beautiful. We ended up at Ben She'An, a fantastic place. It is a city founded in the fifth millennium BC, a seat of Egyptian rule around 1000BC and then conquered by the Romans in 63BC. Excavations only began in 1986 and the building which have been uncovered are amazingly-well preserved. A truly stunning place.

The Cruise - Sicily

On the first evening, as we sailed southwards, we had a reception for the Pied Piper group followed by dinner together. This helped us to get to know each other - nearly all were American but generally a good bunch who helped my enjoyment of the cruise.

Next morning we arrived in Palermo. Andrew and I had booked a tour of Palermo. It wasn't great. Too much time in the coach and too many people, including fat Americans who could not manage the walking and who were always late back.

But in the afternoon we went to Mondello which is effectively Palermo's beach resort and it was lovely. We had arranged to meet Mimmo there which we did. He is spending some time in Sicily. That was cool.

A bit of a rush back to the boat before departure and two sea days.

The Cruise - Rome

It all started in Rome. The cruise I mean. Though come to think of it, much of our way of life today also started in Rome - some 2000 years ago.

And it was fascinating to walk in the footsteps of the citizens of ancient Rome, visiting the Coliseum, the Forum and, one of my favourite buildings, the Pantheon.

The last time I was in Rome, I dutifully threw three coins into the Trevi Fountain which is supposed to guarantee a return. That was 34 years ago on my way to Iran. Perhaps if I had thrown more than 30 lire into the fountain, I would have returned sooner!

We flew into Rome on the Saturday evening, stayed 2 nights at the WRH rooms near the Termini station, (just about acceptable) and spent most of the Sunday just walking around. Part of that time was on an organised walking tour and part was on just exploring on our own. We did the usual sights which were hugely impressive but the emotional pull was rather spoilt by the huge crowds. I particulalry enjoyed our night-time walk firstly to the British Embassy, the building of which Andrew knew, then to the Coliseum, an excellent meal at 'Coming Out' Cafe, and a gentle stroll back to the hotel via the forum and the Piazza Esedra.

It was good to be able to relax before the cruise without worrying about flights. Monday morning saw us taking the train to Civitiveccia where we boarded the boat. And at 5pm we moved off and headed south to Palermo.

The Cruise - overview

Firstly I guess I need to admit that I was unsure. About going on a cruise I mean. There were five reasons why I agreed to go -

• We went with Pied Piper Travel which books a group of gay men onto selected cruises. So I knew that we would have a ready-made group and not have to make conversation over dinner with people with whom we had little in common. In fact there were 32 in our group and we met each evening for drinks before dinner and then had dinner together.


• I had not been to most of our ports of call.


• It was heavily discounted - so the price for a balcony cabin was excellent.


• Andrew wanted to go - and he likes cruises.


• I needed a holiday and some time to just chill out after a busy year.

Once I had decided to go, I also decided that I would do my best to enjoy the experience. And I did. I downloaded loads of books onto my Kindle, I took time to laze around the pool on board, I wanted enjoyed the shore trips, I interacted with the gay group, I tried to engage other cruise passengers in conversation, I enjoyed an early-evening swim and sauna most days, I loved the food, I enjoyed the wine and above all I was able to spend quality time with Andrew, something that is not always possible when we are working as we juggle our busy commitments.

I have not been converted to cruising as a regular holiday habit. Inevitably the port visits were somewhat superficial and I missed the ability to experience a foreign place in the morning as it wakes up or in the evening as it winds down.

But I can see the attractions of taking a cruise. From the practical ones such as not having to regularly pack and unpack and of being able to visit a range of destinations to the spiritual ones, if you like, of just relaxing without any pressure to do things or be places.

I came back relaxed and refreshed. I visited Rome, Sicily, Israel, Mykonos and Naples. And I felt closer to Andrew as a result of the holiday. That made it all worthwhile.

Cruising

We arrived in Rome last night and have spend today exploring the city, 34 years after my last visit.

Tomorrow we head for Civitiveccia port to board the Celebrity Silhouette for a 12 day cruise taking in the ports of Palermo, Haifa, Ashdod, Mykonos and Naples. We are with a Pied Piper group, i.e. a group of about 30 gay and lesbian travellers, within the full number of over 2000 passengers. It will be fun, I hope, meeting the others in the group, almost exclusively from the USA.

And, despite some reservations about the concept of being stuck on a boat and only scratching the surface of places visited, I am going to do my best to have a wonderful time. The Kindle is loaded up with new reading material. The weather should be reasonable. And I can completely relax in our balcony cabin.

Internet access is expensive so I probably cannot send a blog during the journey. So I will report back afterwards.

Meanwhile we are chilling out here in Rome.

Porque Me Gusta Malaga

It all started 14 years ago, my love affair with Spain; and, indeed, another, even more important, love affair. The two are linked. I met my partner, Andrew, in a nunnery in Bury St Edmunds in May 1997. As you do. The story of that meeting is a story for another day. Suffice to say I was late for dinner that night and when I arrived there was only one space space - opposite Andrew. Fate, I guess.

At that time, I was not necessarily looking for a life partner but I was hoping to meet someone who lived near me in Finchley. 'Where do you live?' I asked on that evening keeping my fingers crossed under the table. 'Fuengirola' came the reply. It wasn't exactly close to Finchley!

So Andrew went back to Spain. I went over to visit a couple of months later. And have done regularly ever since. And that's how my love affair for Spain started.

Shortly after our meeting, Andrew returned to the UK to work but we continued to visit Spain on a regular basis staying firstly in Andrew's rented flat in Fuengirola and then, when he gave that up, in hotels or guest houses in Torremolinos, Alora or Malaga.

Then about seven years ago, we took the momentous decision to buy a flat in Spain. It ended up being a very small basement flat - in the centre of the Centro Historico in Malaga. And we still have the flat. Our neighbours are Spanish, the local shops are Spanish-owned, the local restaurants are for the locals not for tourists and there is a wonderful food market close to the flat. And that's how I like it. I don't want to live on an English enclave.

Yes it is a basement flat and yes it is small. But is was affordable - not much more than £50,000 given the exchange rate at the time. It is, for me , in the ideal location. Very close to the local theatre, also close to the local gay bars on the Plaza Merced, right in the heart of the city of Malaga, yet only 20 minutes walk from the Malagueta town beach; not too far from the airport; near the old cathedral; and a short walk from the main shopping centre. We've been to many concerts in the Teatro Cervantes (The Malaga Philharmonic Orchestra are excellent) and also spent many hours on the beach - and of course quite a few in the terraces outside the bars.

And I have come to love Malaga. It is vibrant, very Spanish city. Full of life, but also very cultured. And the beach, and the beach bars, are great. And, dare I say it, the Brits fly into Malaga airport but don't go into the city - heading off instead for the all-inclusive hotels in Torremolinos or Benalmadena. Leaving Malaga almost untouched by the influx of British tourists.

I also love the surrounding area, the villages of Ardales and Alora, the town of Antequera, the mountain of El Torcal and particulalry the lakes of El Chorro.

We have just come back from six days in the flat in Malaga. These pictures were taken there using my new water-resistant camera. It was feria time so the city was full of street parties, music and dance. A great atmosphere. Each day we spent some time on the beach - the weather was hot and the sea was warm. And each evening we had a glass or two of wine on the terrace of one of the local bars. Some evenings I did some cooking; sometimes we went out. As always we had a wonderful meal at our favourite restaurant, the Vino Mio.

Yes I slept too much. I guess I ate too much and undoubtedly drank too much. But it all added up to a wonderfully relaxing six days.

Today we flew back. It was like travelling in time - from mid-summer to late autumn; like travelling from colour to black and white - from bright blue to dark grey. And from a different sartorial society - from t-shirts/shorts to dark waterproof jackets.

I always wish I could stay longer. But it great to know that I have clothes over there in the flat and that I can return at short notice any time. There is a buzz and a life about Malaga that I love. And sharing it with Andrew is just so great. That day in the nunnery changed my life for the better. It gave me the love of a partner and the love of a country. I am so lucky. Now I just need to learn to improve my ability to speak Spanish. Hablo Espanol solomente un poco.

Summer slipping away

On Saturday it was still dark when I got up. Sure it was quite early, around 6am - I was heading off to play golf. And there was a drizzle outside. But nonetheless, it was dark. Yet we are still in August.

And I wondered where summer had gone. And why I have not done all the things I had planned to do this summer. I was planning to visit my sister in Devon - I haven't. I was planning to go to the Open Air Theatre - I haven't. I was planning to visit friends that I had not seen for ages - I haven't. I was planning to sort out some of the boxes that remain from my flat move - I haven't. I was planning to get the bicycles out for a number of cycle rides - I haven't.

And why is that? Well I could blame the weather. Summer seemed to stop at the end of April this year. I could blame work. I just don't seem to have the energy when I get home after work. I could blame increasing old age. Certainly I seem to have a degree of lethargy that was not part of my make-up a few years ago.

And shortly we will move into September, the mornings and evenings will become increasingly dark and, if I don't watch, I shall retreat increasingly into a pattern of work, television, eating and sleeping with nothing adventurous to break that pattern.

Anyway we had for Malaga on Wednesday for a few days in the sun. I hope that helps recharge my batteries and kick-starts me into doing some of the things I had planned for this summer. Hopefully summer is not quite over.

Well done Darren

I know, in a small way, what it is like to be disappointed for years at missing out in a big golf tournament. In 2002 I went to Sydney to play golf in the Gay Games. At the final hole, a par 3, I needed a 3 to win the silver medal. I took a 5. Not only did I not win silver, but I also missed the bronze medal on countback. I was gutted.

It was only years later, when I won a medal at Eurogames in Antwerp, that I was able to put the disappointment behind me.

Dareen Clarke has played professional golf at a high level for 20 years. During that time he has watched as lesser golfers won major championships. He came close on many occasions, but he never did. Now, at 42, it was surely too late.

Last week I was at Castle Stuart near Inverness to see Darren Clarke and others compete in the Scottish Open. I took this photo of Darren.

This week the Open Championship took place at Royal St Georges near Sandwich. And amazingly, as the top golfers in the world failed to stay at the top of the leaderboard, Darren took the lead with one round to play. And even more amazingly, despite huge pressure, he held on through 18 holes of the final round to win the tournament and become a Major winner at long last. So occasionally nice guys do come first. Well done Darren. Fantastic.

Birthday weekend (2)

The weekend after our Spanish sojourn, Andrew knew that we were meeting some relatives and a few friends for lunch on Sunday. There were people who could not come to Spain, some for health reasons. We had initially expected that there would be half a dozen of us - in fact there were 32 in total.

As far as Andrew was concerned, that was all that was happening over the weekend.

Not so.

As a surprise, I had booked front row tickets for Les Miserables on the Saturday evening, an appearance at a friends 30th birthday party at the Shadow Lounge, an overnight stay at the refurbished St Pancras Renaissance Hotel and a Sunday morning visit to Tate Modern for the Loan Miro exhibition.

I think he liked his surprise.

Neither of us has been to Les Miserables. It was magnificent. Powerful and moving. And Alfie Boe was fantastic. We enjoyed the stay at the St Pancras Renaissance Hotel. The architecture is amazing. Not everything was good about the hotel though, which is disappointing in an expensive five star hotel. The next morning we found the Joan Miro exhibition to be really interesting and well curated.

And finally we all had a good meal at Palm Court Brasserie in Covent Garden. So that was the birthday celebrations over. It had taken a lot of organising for the two weekends in Malaga and London. But it all worked really well.

But that is it for now - no more organising for another decade.

Birthday weekend (1)

Not mine. But I was doing the organising. Andrew's big birthday. We took 20 friends to Malaga for the weekend. It went really well. On the actual birthday we met up in the morning, and went up to the top of the Gibralfaro where there is a magnificent view of the city. Had lunch at a beach chirunguitto, and did some swimming. Then toured the historic part of Malaga. Chilled out for a couple of hours. And finally had dinner at the Vino Mio.

For a present we bought a paining by a local artist Carmen Sanchis and asked her to come along to preewnt this to Andrew. I think she was pleased and honoured to be asked.

Dinner was fantastic. Helene and her crew did us proud. And after dinner Simon did an amazing cake which we ate at Mi Terraza.

We were really grateful to friends for coming all the way over to Malaga. They seemed to enjoy the weekend and they were all impressed with Malaga.

It was a great weekend and a good way to celebrate Andrew's birthday.

A group in Spain

We are heading to Malaga later today to celebrate Andrew's 60th birthday on Monday. There are going to be 20 of us. It took quite a bit of organising. Now I just hope everyone will enjoy the weekend. At least the weather forecast is good - hot and sunny.

On the Monday we are doing a tour of Malaga - Gibralfaro, Malagueta, Catedral, Alcazaba, Calle Marques de Larios etc. - followed by dinner at our favourite restaurant, the Vino Mio. I think it will be a good day.

My head exploded

Well that's the nearest I can come to describing the feeling.

I had only been a member of Hertford Tennis Club for about a week. I was playing on Sunday last week and turned round at the back of the court to pick up a ball. And my head exploded.

What actually happened is that a player on the court on one side of us was returning a ball to the court on the other side of us. And for some reason decided to do this at full pace. The ball hit me full in the left eye.

I had to go to A&E at Hertford then to the Eye Clinic at Welwyn GC and subsequently back to the Eye Clinic a week later. My eye certainly looked scary - full of blood.

Thankfully I have now been told that there has been no permanent damage. But it was frightening at the time. And led to a worrying week.

I don't blame the guy that caused the accident - and it was an accident. Though he was rather stupid. I was a member at Totteridge Tennis Club for 20 years without any serious accident. And a member at Hertford LTC for just a week before this happened. I will return, but will be wary in future of what is happening on other courts.

Lost Causes

I guess, throughout my life, I have always tended to support the underdog, minority causes and the unpopular viewpoint. I don't know why. And often that is a good place to be. I am not one for jumping on bandwagons or bending to opposing viewpoints just for the sake of popularity.

Politically I was once one of only 10 people who voted for the communist candidate in a local government election in Aberdeen. Recently I have consolidated my support for the Liberal Democrats just as their support is ebbing away from most of the rest of the population. I was a strong supporter of the Alternative Vote - again not a majority view in the country.

I have never supported a top football team. I remain a passionate supporter of Inverness Caledonian Thistle who are never likely to win a major trophy. But I got more satisfaction from their steady climb from non-league football to the Scottish Premier League than, I believe, a Chelsea or Man City fan can get from knowing that their success was bought.

If I ever watch reality talent shows, I rarely agree with the judges. Yesterday I watched the first semi-final of the Eurovision Song Contest and recorded a vote for Malta. They failed to make the top ten.

As far as people are concerned, I never quite take to the extrovert who craves popularity and seems to get it. I prefer the quiet and thoughtful person who sees through the hype.

But there is a fine line between being proud of my support for minorities and feeling that perhaps I am a patron of lost causes. It might be nice to feel part of the mainstream more often. To be less of a maverick.

But then again, when the road diverges, it is more exciting to take the road less travelled.

A week in Scotland

For many years Andrew has had a timeshare week in N. Wales. This year he was able to swap it for a week at Dalfaber in Aviemore. We went up there 9-17 April.

The Trip Advisor reviews were dire. We were apprehensive.









In the event, the accommodation was fine, the resort had good facilities and the location was superb. We had an excellent week.
We did family things for 3 days. We visited Andrew's uncle and aunt and we brought my Dad to Aviemore for one night. He didn't want to come but in fact he enjoyed it. It was a stimulating break from the boredom of his life in his sheltered home.
We visited the Ospreys at Loch Garten. They had just arrived back from West Africa and were mating before the female laid her eggs. The whole RSPB centre at Loch Garten is fascinating and the volunteers are full of enthusiasm for the birds and other wildlife in the area.









I played three rounds of golf at Dafaber 9-hole course and went swimming three times in the indoor pool. One day we went up in the train and then to the top of Cairngorm. The weather that day was amazing and the views were breathtaking. And on another day we went snowboarding - the first time for either of us. An interesting experience. But we had aches in places we had never ached before!
And we went for walks and drives in the area notable round Loch an Eilan and to Loch Insch.








It was a wonderfully relaxing week. I loved it.

It's not the critic who counts ....

I often find that if I really work hard and conscientiously at something difficult, particularly if I put my head above the parapet and have the temerity to express an opinion, then at best I get silence and usually I get some degree of criticism. This applies to all aspects of life. In these circumstances, I get comfort from the words of Theodore Roosevelt which I reproduce below without further comment. “It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; because there is not effort without error and shortcomings; but who does actually strive to do the deed; who knows the great enthusiasm, the great devotion, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement and who at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly. So that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.”

Spanish Therapy

We had a short break in Malaga at the start of this week. I was looking forward to a bit of warmth and sunshine but sadly that was not to be. It had been sunny the week before we arrived, and was sunny on the day we left, but it was rather wet and windy during our stay. No es justo!

But we did the only thing to do when the weather is not on board - some retail therapy followed by food and wine. We had a great meal at the Vino Mio on Sunday and an excellent Menu Del Dia at the Laboratorio on Tuesday. Both involved rather more wine than was probably appropriate but, hey, we were on holiday.

We had to go to the DHL warehouse on Tuesday (before the food and wine) to collect the Chris Bushe painting that we'd had shipped from the UK. That all went well and thankfully we still really like the painting. It is one of those paintings that has an emotional pull but gives a different emotion depending on how it is lit.

And talking of paintings, Andrew had said that, for his birthday in June which we are spending in Malaga, he would like a permanent reminder of the occasion. On our last visit, we bought a painting of the Plaza Merced by a local artist, Marie-Carmen Sanchis. I wondered if she might have another painting of a place that means something to us - the lighthouse at the end of the beach perhaps as we spend some time at the Chirunguitto there. So I managed to track down Marie-Carmen Sanchis and she said that she did indeed have such a painting. Next thing I knew, I was being taken in a battered old car to her home in El Palo to see the said painting - and to meet her husband and son. The painting is really good so I found myself buying it. And I have asked Marie-Carmen (we are on first name terms now!) to come to the birthday celebrations on 20 June at the Vino Mio to present the painting to Andrew. A good result, I feel.

As always, i enjoyed wandering round Malaga when the rain subsided and we did have a few hours on Sunday lunchtime at the Chirunguitto by the lighthouse having a few beers which was very pleasant.

The photos here are ones I took during our few days in Malaga.