Weekend in Scotland

I went up to Scotland to visit my Mum in hospital and be with my Dad as he comes to terms with living on his own. It's quite stressful, but I hope I help by being there. Certainly the scenario is much changed, and I can only hope that my Mum has a reasonable quality of life in the future and will make some improvement, although her paralysis is, I think, permanent. And I hope that my Dad can continue to remain active.

I suspect that we will have to sell the family home sometime during the year with my Mum moving into a care home and my Dad, at best, moving to sheltered accommodation.

At least the antibiotics hare working and my toothache is subsiding. And I managed to play 9 holes of golf at Spey Bay with my Dad on Sunday.

I guess we just have to accept the directions life takes us and do our best to deal with that and stay in control. No always easy, though.

The Pain Goes On

I sat in the office today trying to work but in continual agony. And now I am suffering a reaction from the antibiotics - a very itchy skin rash. I am taking the painkillers and have bought oil of cloves, but to no avail. The only thing that helps is neat whisky, swilled round my mouth. And I have to spit it out because whisky is not recommended with painkillers and antibiotics. I am worried about my trip to Scotland on Saturday - will be pain be unbearable during the flight in the low pressure?

Pain

I am in agony.

Toothache!

My fault I guess. A few months ago a bit of one of my teeth fell out. I hadn't been to the dentist for years. And since this was not hurting, I still did not go.

So over the past few months, apparently, an infestion set in that attacked the nerve. Suddenly waaah - the pain.

This time I did go to the dentist. Well, he said, you could have treatment under the NHS. It will cost £46 and I would extract the tooth. Or you can have root canal treatment, but that would have to be done privately. The cost? £545! Suddenly the paid was moving to my wallet.

And it can't be done for two weeks. I've been given antibiotics and painkillers, but I am not sure how I can survive for two weeks with this pain.

Malaga again

This weekend I tried to do the triangle. On Thursday I flew to Aberdeen and on to Keith to visit my Mum in hospital. On Saturday I took the weekly flight to Malaga. We had three days in Malaga, and then returned back to the UK to Luton.

It all worked very well, though of course three days was not really long enough. We also had the surreal experience of finding that someone had stolen out washing line from our patio. They had climbed down from level one to do this and had left my golf clubs untouched. Very strange.

On Sunday we spent some time at the bar beside the lighthouse, walked out to the end of the harbour and ended up going to the Rosaleda to see Malaga playing Ejido at football. My first visit to the Rosaleda, and although the result was 1-1 and the game was less than totally riveting, it was a fun thing to do.

On the Monday we went to Mijas to see an Irish guy who runs a guest house there. The journey was a long one thanks to a delayed bus which then broke down climbing the hill to Mijas. But the guest house was good with fantastic views and afterwards we had a late lunch in Fuengirola.

Unfortunately Tuesday was not as good a day weatherwise, but I still spend a relaxing morning beside the beach reading my book and in the afternoon, when the weather improved, I managed to lie on the sand for a couple of hours and go for a paddle in the sea.

And then on Wednesday we flew home. A long journey, because my toothache flared up as soon as the plane was airborne. But it had been a good break.

Sports recovery

Yesterday I played 4 sets of tennis - my first games for a few months.

This morning I had a sprained ankle, a sore knee and a sore elbow as well as some very stiff joints.

Old age is setting in!

80th birthday

No not mine. My mother's. It went better than I had expected. She is in hospital in Keith after a severe stroke and I really didn't think she'd really cope with a birthday. But anyway we invited a dozen of her freinds to the hospital, provided wine and nibbles - and a birthday cake - and it all went very well. My mother recognised everyone and knew they were there for her birthday. She was even able to make a short thank-you speech at the end.

The hospital were very good at getting her dressed and into a chair. And at allowing us to use the hospital lounge. And her friends were very kind and understanding.

It doesn't alter the fact that my mother is unlikely to get much better and certainly will not be able to resume her previous lifestyle. The future is very uncertain. But for today at least, we could celebrate 80 years of her life.

Snow in Scotland

I've come up to Keith for my mother's 80th birthday tomorrow. Today it snowed and although it is really cold, it is gorgeous. This is a photo of my parent's back garden this morning.

The 'no-diet' diet

Each day in the Independent, there is a free supplement which claims that it is 'the easy way to make 2008 the best year of your life'. We'll see.

The premise is that in order to lose weight permanently, one needs to change one's ingrained habits in all areas. I am not sure that I am very adaptable, but I'll give it a go. There is a different task each day. Today's task is to write something. I suppose that is proof that I have done that.

Illness

My Mum is not really improving after her stroke. The doctor today was very downbeat, talking about the possibility of her catching an infection and being unable to cope with that. Yet in fact she when I visited her, she was awake and alert and able to chat away. But I know that she will not be able to return home and that, at best, major changes will have to be made in her life, in my Dad's life and to a degree in my life. We've had a good number of years without major illness, so something like this was inevitable I guess. But it is still hard to see her so helpless when only a few weeks ago we went on a day trip to Loch Ness and she was fine. it certainly makes me think about my priorities and the need to look after myself.

Golf

I like playing golf. I am not obsessive about it. But it is an enjoyable relaxation. I started playing as a youngster in Inverness. I've never been a really good golfer, my handicap remains at 17, but I have my moments.

This weekend, I am up in Scotland to visit my mother in hospital and to assist my dad who is now 91. Suddenly this morning, despite the temperature being barely above freezing, he decided he needed a game of golf. So we had a very pleasant 9 holes at Spey Bay, where my score was a very erratic 4,5,4,3,3,9,5,4,4. A strange way to go round in a respectable 41.

Of more importance, though, was the fact that I can have this game with my elderly father, we can get some fresh air and exercise together, and for a couple of hours at least he can forget about the problems with my Mum's illness.

2008

A New Year. A new beginning? Or more of the same?

Well I am not going to produce a flurry of resolutions, all likely to be broken within days. I simply want to reflect on, and built upon, things I am doing well. And try to make some improvements in things I don't do so well. I want to improve the balance in my life and realise that there will be moment of stress and moments of happiness, but mostly there will be long moments of just getting on with life.

Yes I need to lost some weight and tone up my rather pudgy body. This will be done through eating more healthily, drinking less alcohol and getting more exercise. It's not rocket-science, it is just common sense. I just need to actually do it.

My Mum has had a stroke and the effect of that on her and on our family will be an important part of the year.

I still need to work, and I need to progress that. In particular, I will need to manage my time better and try to find specific time to relax without using that time to delay those things which I need to do.

I would like to move home this year, but first there is work to be done to my flat to make it saleable. That needs to be completed early in 2008.

But above all, 2008 must be about balance. Time for me, time for others. Time for work, time for play. Moderation, but not inertia.

And since I have just returned from Thailand, I will give myself a Buddhist thought to take with me into 2008 and keep me focused.

'As you walk and eat and travel, be where you are. Otherwise you will miss most of your life'.

2007 Retrospective

Okay I am a bit late for retrospectives, but I have been away for 3 weeks. And anyway I am not planning a major detailed review of 2007 - I did that in the blog entry on 12 December.

Last year I said the following -
´I don’t know what the future holds. Outside events may alter my life. Many things I cannot change. Many things I should not change. Many things I must change. I need to exercise judgement in deciding the right category. Of course sometimes I will be sad, depressed and angry. I need to control those emotions as best I can, and move forward just being myself, but a slightly better version of myself than hitherto´.

Did I manage to do that? Well partly I did. I didn't drive myself forward as much as I should have. I didn't manage my time as well as I could have. But I did my best for myself and for others. In the first half of the year we were spending time with Andrew's Dad through his illness. In the last part of the year I was spending time with my Mum through her illness.

In 2007 I travelled quite a lot, I played golf and tennis, I tried to give love and support to Andrew. Of course sometimes I ate too much and sometimes I drank too much. Sometimes I was depressed without reason, sometimes I was having fun.

My concern about the passing of 2007 is not so much what I did or didn't do during that year, but on the fact that life is short and it has just got a year shorter. So it is now the future which is important, not the past.

Thailand

The visit is over, and shortly we will depart for the airport.

My impressions? I guess the country took a few days to grow on me. Or maybe it is that I took a few days to relax into the country. It is a country and people without moral judgements - totally accepting in a calm and friendy way. The beaches are great, the mountains are impressive, the weather is brilliant and the people are so friendly.

It has been a long way to travel, and for that reason I do not expect to be making regular return visits, but certainly I would like to return and to spend more time in those areas where our time was limited.

I could easily spend a week in Koh Samui chilling out. I could spend a week in the north exploring. And I could happily spend some time playing golf here.

And if I say that I an looking forward to getting back to the UK, that is because of issues which need my attention there and not because of any disappointment with Thailand.

The visit was partly a research trip for Amro Holidays and inevitably that meant that hotels has to be visited, people has to be seen and we partly looked at everything in the context of whether it was suitable for Amro clients.

But we have been able to enjoy ourselves as well. My highlight was probably the Wat at Chiang Saen, beautifully peaceful in itself and with an amazing view over the Mekong River to Burma and Laos. And I will remember the friendliness of the people always ready with their 'Sawatdee Kha' or 'Sawatdee Kraap'.

I am really glad we have come here.

Bangkok

Like all big cities, Bangkok is noisy, dusty and difficult to get around. But it is also fascinating and not without its oases of peace.

Inevitably we have done some of the organised excursions which one is rather forced to do for the sake of expediency. This meant that the grandeur of the Royal Palace was muted by the huge number of visitors there and by the fact that at each stop we had a ten minute photo opportunity before we were herded on. No time to stand and stare.

And the trip to the River Kwai suffered in the same way, although nothing could dim the moving experience of visiting the graves of the thousands who gave their lives during the notorious building of the railway during World War 2.

Of course we sampled the nightlife in the Patpong area - an extraordinary mishmash of restaurants, sex clubs and massage parlours. The climax of the Dreamboys show was, well, interesting.

Last night we welcomed in the New Year. We had a meal at Richards, made more interesting by meeting a couple from Finland and Mark, a lovely Australian guy, with whom we had a few further drinks before we moved down to one the bridges to watch the fireworks as 2008 started.

And today we had a trip on the river which showed the city at its best.

I guess anyone who visits Thailand should spend at least a couple of days in Bangkok and I am glad that we have done so.

Still in Pattaya

I really hadn't expected to like this place. Yes it is brash, yes in parts it is noisy and yes in parts it is very sleazy. But it is clean, the beach is quiet, the sea is warm and reasonably clean and the people are all so friendly. I played golf yesterday and really enjoyed that. It probably helps that we are staying is a wonderful place, the Rabbit Resort .

But certainly this is a place that is growing on me. I can understand why some of our friends stay here for weeks and a few have moved here permanently. And I am grateful to two of them for hosting a party a couple of days ago which we thoroughly enjoyed.

But today we move on to Bangkok which I expect to be very noisy, very busy but probably fascinating in its own way.

Pattaya

I don't suppose that 'laid back' is a term normally used for Pattaya, but compared to Patong it is.

Our hotel, the Rabbit Resort, is fantastic and right on the beach. And the beach is great - warm clear water.

This evening we had an excellent Christmas dinner in Boystown in Pattaya - turkey and all the trimmings. It was strange to be eating this on Christmas Day overlooking the clubs of Boystown.

Tomorrow we meet friends for a lunchtime party on the beach.

Taking the train

We drove back to Chaing Mai via a different, and beautidul, route. Gave back the car and boarded the overnight train.

The journey was not withour problems. For a few hours all the lights failed and getting an engineer to fix this meant that the train arrived 2 hours late into Bangkok. But we managed some sleep and, as ever, I found the train journey to be fascinating.

We were met at the station and are now in Pattaya.

The Mekong River

I cannot really believe that we are sitting having lunch on the banks of the mighty Mekong River. But here we are and it is such a magical place.

The driving was fine. We stopped off in Chiang Rai and then went onwards to the Golden Triangle and our hotel close to Chiang Saen.

Today we went for a leisurely drive along the road to Chiang Khong and back via the road which skirts the Mekong.

And we did a boat trip on the Mekong. The scenery is wonderful, tall mountains, the mighty river and trees everywhere.

It is amazing to think that I am here in the very north of Thailand overlooking the countries of Laos and Burma. I am very lucky.

Chiang Mai

We are now up in the north in Chiang Mai. Today we did an elephant trek followed by gentle rafting down the local river. All amongst the heavily wooded hillside so typical of the scenery here. I really like Chiang Mai - much more relaxed, no hassle from street vendors and plenty to explore.

I was visiting a local Wat when one of the young monks approached me and asked me to help him with his English pronunciation. I had an enjoyable few minutes doing that and he then allowed me to visit the Wat.

We pick up the car tomorrow and drive northward.

Koh Samui

We have of course only scratched the surface, but nonetheless Koh Samui is much more beautiful and much less frenetic than Patong. The beaches are wonderful - white sand blending into shallow, warm, blue water. Yes it is true that all beaches we have seen are fringed by hotels. And these hotels have commandeered a large part of the beach space for their sunbeds. So those who are not staying at beachfront hotels, and particularly the locals, are finding their available space severely restricted. But the hotels are not high-rise and the trees and greenery hide most of the hotel anyway. So lying on a sunbed at the beach is close to idyllic.

It has rained for a time every day, and very heavily. But in short bursts, so we can put up with it.

I am sorry our stay here is so short. We are heading for dinner at the Library this evening, we might catch an hour by the beach tomorrow, then we head north.