The Lottery of Life

I don't really believe in fate. And I do believe that you get back from life what you put into it. As ye sow, so shall ye reap.

But the randomness of life is the factor which I find increasingly difficult to ignore.

My father is 93 and is finding it difficult to motivate himself each day to what is now, because of his frailty, a mere existence. Today I am bemoaning the fact that I have a cough and a cold and don't have the energy to do the things that need doing. Are we being selfish?

There are people in Chile or in Haiti whose whole world was destroyed in a few seconds. One of my tennis partners died suddenly last December. My Cousin lost his wife to cancer just last week. The carer who looks after my Dad's sheltered housing complex buried her mother last week; and had had to return to working with people who are 30-40 years older than her mother was when she died. Stephen Gately died last year. A few weeks ago, Alexander McQueen took his own life, aged 40. Today I read that Kristian Digby was found dead aged 32.

Yet I worry about work, about my pension about my future. I worry about whether my relationship will still be in place many years down the line rather than whether we are going to have a good time together this evening. I worry about tomorrow rather than today. Even though I do not know if there will be a tomorrow. It isn't logical. Guilt and worry - the useless emotions.

Let's return to Buddha. 'As you walk, and eat and travel - be where you are. Otherwise you may miss most of your life'. I am at home with a bad cold, a sore throat and a cough. Not pleasant, but not something I can change. So I must just be here, accept that I am here, and take life from here. And live it.